How to apply the platinum rule of communication

Most people have heard of the Golden Rule. Which is the principle of “treating others as we would like to be treated”. This is a simple premise that was first noted in the big book that was penned several thousand years ago, and which contained a range if parables and testaments that were designed to help us live a more compassion filled life.  

And the Golden Rule is as current in 2022 as it was when it was first written. Imagine if everyone on the planet really bought into the Golden Rule and applied it in their own lives. And treated everyone how they would like to be treated. Yes, that is drawing a long bow, but it is a nice thought, right? 

Here is another thought – when it comes to leadership, and leading under pressure, your team members don’t actually want to be treated how you want to be treated. I know … breathe …  

They want to be treated how they want to be treated. Yes, every team member has different requirements and a different communication style – and they would prefer that you communicated with them in their style (not yours). This is called the Platinum Rule. 

The Platinum Rule is about personal connection and productive relationships. It is about communicating in a way that is meaningful to the other person, and it is about understanding their style so that you can adapt yours. And although you change your style, you don’t have to change your personality. You don’t have to roll over and submit to others. You simply have to understand why people communicate how they do and understand your options for increasing your communication effectiveness with them. So that you can better connect. 

After all, communication should be for connection, not just direction. 

But how do you know what someone else’s communication style is? Great question, glad you asked. 

We use a personality profiling tool call DISC, which some of my readers will be familiar with. DISC stands for Dominant, Influential, Steady or Conscientious.

From the DISC Profile site, here are what the four personality and communication styles refer to: 

  • Dominant: A person primarily in this DiSC quadrant places emphasis on accomplishing results and “seeing the big picture.” They are confident, sometimes blunt, outspoken, and demanding 
  • Influence: A person in this DiSC quadrant places emphasis on influencing or persuading others. They tend to be enthusiastic, optimistic, open, trusting, and energetic 
  • Steadiness: A person in this quadrant places emphasis on cooperation, sincerity, loyalty, and dependability. They tend to have calm, deliberate dispositions, and don’t like to be rushed 
  • Conscientiousness: A person in this DISC quadrant places emphasis on quality and accuracy, expertise, and competency. They enjoy their independence, demand the details, and often fear being wrong 

Part of doing your DISC profile is understanding how to communicate with each of the different styles. There is a great page in the profile booklet that unpacks the dos and the don’ts of each style, and how to better connect with them. How to apply The Platinum Rule, essentially. 

For a leader, this information really is priceless. It cannot be underestimated how valuable it is for a leader to really understand how their team members want to be communicated with. Especially for new team members, who we don’t know yet. Or for that one team member that we haven’t quite connected with. 

Our leadership workshops include DISC profiling and helping leaders and team members to firstly understand their own style, and then understanding other’s styles. 

The ah hah moments that are experienced as leaders and teams start to understand themselves and others at a different level is amazing to watch.  

Then we get to see The Platinum Rule being put into action! 

Want to learn more about how to understand your own communication style, and how to connect with others using the Platinum Rule? 

Please click the image below if you’d like to chat about what leadership means to you.

If you would like to learn more about Anton or The Guinea Group, please click hereto book into Anton’s calendar, to:

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About Anton

Anton has dedicated his working life to helping leaders to upgrade their mindset, upskill their leadership, and uplift their teams! With a focus on helps leaders to better lead under pressure. Anton is an entrepreneur, speaker, consultant, bestselling author and founder of The Guinea Group. Over the past 19 years, Anton has worked with over 175+ global organisations, he has inspired workplace leadership, safety, and cultural change. He’s achieved this by combining his corporate expertise, education (Bachelor of HR and Psychology), and infectious energy levels.
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